I find it interesting that there are few subjects in the world that will polarize us as well as a discussion around sex. For many, sex has been narrowly defined as sexual intercourse and why not? If we look to how many religions have taken on the subject – it has always and only been about procreation. In order to procreate, there must be sexual intercourse if the sperm is to fertilize the egg. The erectile dysfunction drug companies certainly embrace and promote a view of sex that is intercourse specific in that “one needs to be ready when the mood strikes”. I think even Bill Clinton tried to excuse himself from having “sex” with Monica Lewinsky by claiming it was just a stimulation and manipulation of a mammalian extremity, albeit orally, but certainly not intercourse.
I have always wondered why is our sexuality so fraught with so many pitfalls and shrouded in a veil of secrecy? Think about how you learned about sex. Most parents would just as soon eat dirt than sit down and have that much feared and dreaded ‘sex talk’. My parents tossed me a book on breast-feeding – not sure what for but I am sure I was fascinated by the pictures. I cannot remember a time in my younger life where sexual related matters were spoken with ease and comfort or out in the open for that matter. My first sexual experience came when I was in the first grade. My friends and I were playing a war game in an adjacent wooded lot to a shopping center where I grew up. As I was crawling through a circular cement underground tunnel, I fell into a cardboard box filled with assorted nudist and Playboy magazines. Even at that early age I knew that what I found should be kept secret. Even now as I reflect on that moment, how did I instinctively know that the hidden treasure I had stumbled upon was forbidden even at that age? So I called my older brother over and we ripped open the lining of our coats and stashed as many of the magazines and pictures as we could fit. We hid them in the basement of our family home and the entrepreneur in me could not resist taking a few select pictures to school. There I sold them for fifty cents each until the teacher caught me and off to the principal’s office I went, ending a brief but brilliant career as a porn peddler. Again, as I recall no one dared talk about the pictures I was selling only that they had to come off the market so to speak.
I am in the process of writing a book about learning how sexual preferences can lead to an understanding of the psychology of one’s sexuality. My work is an attempt to peel back the layers of our sexuality and [pardon the pun] expose how we as individuals and as cultures and societies take up our sexuality beyond just the engagement through sexual intercourse.
To conclude my first musings about sexuality, no matter how much is ever written about sex people are always intrigued and curious enough to want to read more. Think about it, sex is one of those few subjects that has power to grab the multitude’s attention. The question remains that with all that energy going into wanting to read more – why haven’t we used this as an opportunity to educate the masses? It only makes sense that if I have an audience ready, willing and able to engage in the material then it should be made in such a way as to educate and further our understanding of human sexuality. What I have found surprising is that not everyone has an opinion they feel comfortable sharing with others. I hope my blog can create an environment for the sharing of our sexuality to take place.